Sunday, April 03, 2005

Badgers at New Forest

'You will be sitting outside a sett on the other side of the valley,' Jonathan explained, 'and then, just as it becomes dusk, the badgers will come out.'
'Have you told the badgers this?' I asked.
'They will come out,' Jonathan said confidently. 'They will come out for the sandwich.'
'Sandwich? What sandwich?' asked Lee.
'A peanut-butter sandwich,' said Jonathan.
'What are you talking about?' asked Lee.
'Badgers,' said Jonathan, with an air of authority, 'badgers find peanut-butter sandwiches irresistible. they will travel miles to obtain one. Drag a peanut-butter sandwich through the forest and you will have every badger for miles around following you.'
'Where did you obtain this esoteric piece of information?' I enquired.
'It sounds distinctly peculiar to me,' I said. 'I have never heard of attracting badgers with peanut butter.'
Dutifully I did my piece to camera and then threw the sandwich at the entrance to the sett. As on cue, both badgers approached it, they both sniffed the sandwich and then backed hurriedly away from it, sneezing violently and displaying every symptom of acute displeasure.


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